Dwelling Makes Me Free

                                                                                                    

Several years I lived on my own for the first time. I was so lonely. I walked in from a 10 hour day to just flop on the couch and absently flip channels to have something fill the air in my small apartment. I didn’t have a dwelling house. I had space. I was afraid. I had a new label – divorce wife. I felt like a failure. How could I start over?

Now, I have a home full of people. I love coming home to a family that missed me and cherish my presences. This is now my dwelling place. My new label now is I am a new wife and step mother.  I feel accomplished and proud. I made it! I had God on my back the whole time. I look back and I see God slowly ripping that label off and slapping a new one on. He is BIG. He is capable! He is my God the o’mighty. God has come inside me – He is dwelling deep in my heart and soul. He made His new home for His spirit.

dwell·ing:
a building or place of shelter to live in; place of residence; abode; home.

Everything now I in my life fits in their place. The husband went to work, came home and the wife welcomes him with open arms. The children come home and fills your life with instant chaos.  These crazy and loving people belong here – in our dwelling place.  They are not strangers. They are the ones that fill your heart. These people are a team. You make everything happen together. This dwelling place you called home has become a of beacon of light.

God is building me inside a place for Him to dwell in.   He wants me to be filled up with a spiritual presence.  I don’t want to be an empty vessel – He doesn’t want me to be empty. He doesn’t want space – He wants you to work with Him to have that beautiful dwelling place. He wants you to have Him in your heart and soul. Like our family, we have a place in ourselves that is being built for a home. A space that is waiting to be filled.

Your heart is a home for God. He wants to become a team with you. When He is in your heart you are capable of achieving everything and anything. He will make you free.  The spirit of God with dwell in you. He will be home.

When I think of this, I think of an empty vessel. The spirit comes in a fills this vessel with so many gifts. God gives us peace, freedom, love, comfort, spiritual strength, wisdom. This vessel at the end will be overflowing. This gifts from God will never empty or run out. He dwells so deep within us that His love will be felt ever step in our life.

Psalm 16:11
American Standard Version (ASV)
11 Thou wilt show me the path of life: In thy presence is fullness of joy; In thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

Will you let yourself have God come dwell in your heart and soul? I am daily reminding me how much God loves me and how far it reaches. How much He wants to use me for Him to live inside me. Maybe this is my struggle. I pray that I feel that love and yearning. Don’t let the voices tell you are not good enough or not worth anything. Open up – let Him in – Let Him use you to show His spirit shine out like that beacon so you and other’s can see that love God has for you!

My testimony is I am free due to love myself knowing that I have God dwelling inside my heart. I no longer feel like a don’t belong here – God has brought be through with His plan. I am excited to see where He leads me now.

Struggle Within

 

Life. How is my life – it is a struggle. I find myself feeling ran into the dirt weekly. I usually shrug my shoulders and say ” Hey, its just one more time!” I forget I have such support. I feel alone a lot. I also suffer from tunnel vision.

I am learning to reach out and become more active in my Christian life. How? I talk a lot. I am a chatter box.
I know God is always there with an open ear. I have felt so close to Him. The more I want to study about how He is ( I will never fully know) but I know His mercy is given everyday.

I have been looking into myself and digging up some pretty nasty buried situations I had in the past. I have to pull layer after layer of hurt and self abuse. I did so much in my past I am actually ashamed. I was so broken. I think I bring a lot of pain on myself.

I feel so ashamed now. I see so many people that are going through times that I can’t begin to know how they handle it. I sometimes feel my prayers are so minor. I feel like they are not important enough. I have some tragic moments but I get through them. How can I ask God for something so minor like let my food come out good so my family will like it.

How important I? I mean really. I want to feel close to God. Sometimes I feel like I have a fog in my mind and I can’t absorb anything. I guess that is a good prayer right there. Please God, let me unplug this blockage I have in front of my heart.

I think the best action I need to take is not to get discourage.

Psalm 31 : 9 –

Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am distressed. My sight is blurred because of my tears. My body and soul are wasting away. I am dying of grief. My years are shorten by sadness. Misery has drained my strength. “

Psalm 31 : 14

But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying “You are my God” My future is in your hands, Rescue me from those who hunt me down me relentlessly. Let your favor shine on your servant. In your unfailing love, save me. Don’t let me be disgraced, O Lord, for I cry out for you for help. Let the wickness be disgraced, O Lord, for I cry out for help.

 

Oh Joy, Where are you?

Do you find joy daily?

Lets be serious.. I am lucky to get through the day with a smile on my face.

I spend my day taking care of my home. It can be a circle – get up – eat breakfast – check my emails-of course Facebook surfing clean for 15 min.- fix lunch – do laundry-rest- make dinner-clean after dinner-try to find time to take a walk-watch a little tv-and get ready for the next day.

It can get boring. My husbands biggest fear when we decided I would be a stay at home maker I would go stir crazy and develop a major case of cabin fever.

I have my days. I have found little things to help. One of them is just take it hour by hour. Routine  is a must and a new life style for me. However, at times I feel I don’t pull my weight around the house. My husband reminds me daily I have a big part in the family dynamics.

I have to search for joy. I know some ladies would love to be in my shoe. We always want the other side. I have worked for 15 years and now I am happy staying at home.

I have to remind myself I deserve joy.  Why? The Bible tells us we need to feel joy in our lives always no matter what you are going through in your life.

1 Thessalonians 16-18

Be joyful always; Pray continually;Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Jesus Christ. 

This is great reinsurance for me. I have found myself feeling not so alone. I talk to Jesus while vacuuming , folding clothes, or while cooking dinner. He is here to help me and I love spending time with Him. I have 8 hours before my teenage gets home so that time is becoming special to me.

I have this wonderful circumstance that came into my life. I am blessed to stay at home and take care of the needs here.

My husband is right – I am a big part of providing for my family.

God led me down this path for a reason.. to find joy in my life… 

 

I will go places !

I am not going to lie. I am brand stinking brand new at this blogging thing. Granted I have journal after journals I have written for years. One day I looked around in the blog world ( thanks to pintrest!). I had a thought ‘hey, I can totally do that!’

I am using my theme towards a Christian mom, wife and your friend next door. Now, I am not saying – I am a novel writer and I do realized there are zillions of blogs out. I guess I want to treat this as my open journal with my fellow readers!

I want this blog to be FUN and I want it to INSPIRE you and I want you to be BLESSED!

My goal is to at least ONE person a day! And I believe if I put this in God’s hands … one day I may have 100’s ( I have small goals right now!)

I will keep post it notes when an idea pops in my mind – so it should be interesting around my house. I already keep bible verses all over!

Garfield can tell you all about that!

I am not going to ask to leave comments or likes. This isn’t a popularly contest HOWEVER – tell your friends – I want to spread the word! It will give me a smile!
Now, off to the post it notes for my next post!

Squeezes and Cheezes

 

 

On Top of Spaghetti

 

Psalm 43:3
3 Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell.

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Well Spring Break is over in this household. I don’t know if that is a good thing or not. I am looking around and all I see is wall to wall of scattered mess. Granted, I took a Spring Break from my job too – just not picking up after anyone – looks like a hurricane. ( why are there socks on the ceiling fan?)

I was back to my routine of cooking dinner. I love to cook. I find recipes online and modify them.  I do have two boys in my house and I could make any meal with wolf brand chili ( aka dog food) and they would eat it.Sad but true!

I was making meatballs just now and a thought popped in my head. I loved that song “on top of spaghetti” as a kid. Now I think it is disgusting. I mean really, all I think of is hair and dirt in it.

Sometimes, I feel like I get blown off my spaghetti. Don’t laugh but I am that meatball. I am minding my business doing my job – and bang – someone sneezes and next thing I know I am totally off track. Spring break did that to me – I was out of my routine.

As I roll off the life I am living – I seem to forget that I can easily go back to the top. I think of Jesus -and Him to  just pick me up – and put me back on where I belong. This can just be the wife, mom, friend or just that nice neighbor. Getting side tracked is very easy. We run around our busy lives and forget to even look up. Sometimes we get so far away we barely see that light.

What is that light? The question should be “Who is that Light”?

John 8:12
When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

Psalm 18:28
28 You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.

So don’t let yourself roll at that door. Make sure you either give that person allergy medicine for sneezing or simply turn around and go back to the top of the spaghetti.

Grace: Not Just A Prayer Before Dinner

Have you ever felt you did something so bad – no one can forgive you? How about a gift you didn’t deserve ?

Truthfully, I can go a day without talking to Jesus or even pray. I am sure some people would feel guilty. I do – I feel the conviction. I feel like sometimes I am not worth all the blessings God gives me – or even I take granted for the smallest gift in front of me.

I never actually understood what grace meant in my life. I was raised to say grace before dinner. I just thought it was a way my mom wanted for a few minutes of quiet time before we ate everything up except the dinner table.

 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.- Ephesians 4:9

This is going to be a short devotional today. I am studying Ephesians at my church. For the last 4 weeks, we have been deeply reading into the chapter. I come to realize how much of a mess up I am. I do not have the heart of Christ sometimes. Having a relationship with Christ does not mean you have a set of rules you need to follow. We need to have our hearts turn to what Christ would be like.

 Ephesians 4:25-32

25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.New International Version (NIV)

I want to transform – to change – in this world it can be so difficult. It is easy to talk slander ( social media made this easy) Have foul language ( my husband is a truck driver – talk about filthy mouth) Go to bed angry ( how dare he didn’t notice my vacuum lines in the carpet I spent 30 minutes doing) Being unselfish ( not helping that old person struggle in the parking lot with groceries). I think our list can go on and on.

This chapter is very humbling. After all that we have done – God has not changed His love for us. We can never grasp or understand the Love He has for us. And, we will never in our lifetime.

Through all our mess ups – we have the gift of grace. All we have to do is pray for God to thank him for His continuing every lasting love.  Sometimes we need to step back – look inside our hearts and feel God’s presences – letting us change our hearts. We need to understand the wonder meaning of grace. We messed up, Lord, but you give me love I do not understand – but I give you all my heart before you to clean – to make me more like the person you want me to be.

 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. Ephesians 2:4.