This year has been flying by… my daughter just turned 8 yesterday. I would look at her and see a little girl.. no more baby.. no more toddler. She is her own person. She is catching up and learning things. I remember when I was her age now.. that means she is starting to store memories that she will carry with her all her life. I am going to work hard on being that mom she wants me to be. I am working on being open with her and have her understand even though mommy doesn’t see her all the time – I love her more than ever. I knew when I gave up the kids to my exhusband it would be hard on them. But they seem of have adjusted to the life cycle of it. If anything, I have learned I love them more and treasure them more than I have ever. Every time I am with them .. it is a gift to me. I want them to be happy.
I will be having another family. That is my goal. I want a complete family and that includes my kids. I want a house of love and play and a structure life. I am on that journey right now. I know God will led me to where I am suppose to go. It has been since Januray when I moved out to be on my own and work my full time stressful job. I never expected this job to be so stressful. But I have talked and talked with my wonderful boyfriend, Scott.. and he says this is a test for me. If I can make it till Feb. I will be able to conquer the world. And I believe him..
Oh – Scott – Yes, he is the man I am invovled with. Let me give you a little background. One day I was off – I decided to take a chance of one of this crazy websites for singles. I got on and in an hour I was bombarded with crazy sick guys. I had my settings from age 25-39. I couldn’t see myself with anymore older than 40. Well, I was about to get off because I was tired of being picked up like I was at a bar. I went to check my emails and I saw this texasboy added me to his favorites. I never open those emails. For some reason, I opened it.. I saw this cute MAN. He had pictures of his son at Disney world and he was so my type.. A redneck country boy. So, I messaged him back – I think we past several messages back and forth – finally I just gave him my number to text. Well, since that day in March – we have talked everyday.. texted almost every hour. After talking to him for 2 weeks on the phone – we decided to meet in person. I had some bad experiences about meeting people I like on the phone .. because there would be no connection in person .. no sparks… Well, I got off work and ran home to change into something pretty. I spent a little more time getting ready because I was so nervous. What if he didn’t like me. We had such a strong connection on the phone.. I loved his voice.. his ideas.. how he was.. I was scared the whole package wasn’t going to be complete.
Finally he made it to my door and knocked. I opened up the door with my eyes closed .. when I opened them.. wow .. instant sparks. He was adorable.. cute..normal.. and he grabbed me and gave me a huge hug and a peck on the kiss. We went out to a bar because we figured we would drink to relax so we could get to know each other. Boy, talk about two pieces of the puzzle fitting together. We talked and talked.. when we were about to leave we kissed. And we both looked at each other and said – okay – have we been dating 6 months already? It was the strangest feeling ever. I have never felt like that before. We went to Specs – got some wine and went back to my place to continue to know each other.
The next day – I woke up thinking it was a dream.. or it was a fluke of nature.. but I got my good morning text from him. And he felt it was perfect. He said he thought of me the whole way home. He knew this was different than anything he had before.
A little history of his past. He had been married for several years. He has a son that is 12. He has experience with mental disorders because of his ex wife. He understands the dark park of a mental place. He dealt with a lot of abuse and immoral behavior because of it. He is starting over and he is trying to find that nitch in his life where he wants to be. He is looking for the exact thing I want.. a loving person to come home to and share his life with until we are old and rocking on the front porch on swings.
Since that night – we have been working on our relationship. Learning about each other. A good thing about our relationship is he lives across Houston. This is perfect. I am known to give up what I have for a man. So, Scott is making sure I stay on track with my life now. That I succeed in supporting myself. He wants to see my achieve what he knows I am capable of . He is very supportive with my sitution.
We have our routine. Texts in the morning – lunch dates on the phone. He is very protective of me. I call when I leave work and when I get home so he knows I got home okay. In the evening we have our nightly night talks. He is juggling being a single day. And he is amazing at it. He works 10 hrs a day. He drives truck for acedmy. He has a lot of time to think during the day.
Funny thing is.. he is a dreamer like me. He has what he wants in his life. He wants a family again like me. He is 8 years older than me.. yes, over 40.. but he is set in life.. and that is what I love about him.
We have goals and plans…. I know he won’t let me down. He has a huge heart and is the man you always heard of on sappy movies.. I am lucky to have him in my life. It was a slim chance we met. But we both know God had our lives planned out to meet – for us to go through the pain of the past .. because know we understand each other’s lives.
Let me give you an example of what kind of man he is. He loves to do stuff. One day after work – he came to my house to pick me up – he surprised me by taking me down to Kemah. We hung out – window shopped – laughed – watched boats. Had beer and a foot Margarita. We pet the sting rays.. ate dinner outside at Joes – say next to a huge stuffed pig. He kept telling me how beautiful I was. At the end – there was a band playing and in the middle of the boardwalk – he grabbed me and slowed danced with me with people walking by.
Everything is falling into place. His son adores me. He thinks of me as a kid.. and gave his dad the okay for me. In fact, his son made me a bird house for Mother’s Day. Another thing – my ex husband and I talked about him. He said Scott seems like a good guy. In fact, he wants to meet him and his son. He invited them to my son’s birthday party. That just shocked me. But Ryan said as long as I am happy and he knows the boyfriend is a good man – he want him to be part of the kids life. Ryan has faith in us. And when he finally meets my family soon, I know they will like him also. He is the most down to earth man – that likes to have fun.. drink beer.. laugh and be around people. I couldn’t have asked for a better package!